I chose Deep Purple’s “Highway Star” mainly for the reference to racing a car to the speed of sound, but also for today’s installment when the “star” we all dread to see on the highway appears in your rear view mirror, and that’s the star of the State Trooper as he walks up to your car asking rather stupidly “Do yo know how fast you were going?” “No shit-head, I can’t read…” is the response that most often gets you tossed into jail. I actually have a great deal of respect for most police officers (they do have a gun…) but that question just gets me going.
Part 3 tomorrow as I give you a nice little trilogy to start off the Road Trip. Some real fun for Friday and you’ll get a hint in Wednesday’s comic about that!
Luckily, the one time I got pulled over I was told, rather than asked, how fast I was going (and yes, I was aware of it; and really, why brake going down a hill when no one’s on the road?), and I also didn’t get a ticket. o/
And now I’m singing that song. 8D
This will sound totally sexist (and I do not mean to be), but you got off probably because your a woman. I don’t know how many times my wife has gotten off of tickets (not always, but mostly). If only I had boobs… well, nice ones at least…
🙂
lol. Maybe. It was an older cop, and I was a responsible youngster without a record… My mom also got out of a ticket once when I was with her but it was a pretty silly incident anyway. I predicted she’d get out of it. 8D
Not quite as annoying as “Having trouble achieving take-off speed, are we sir?”
Or the ever popular “In a hurry? You must be, you’ve passed everyone on the road!” Which I literally once replied “Not you.” The cop was not happy, but it was also not that disrespectful, so he let it go.
The ONLY time I was “lucky” with a state trooper was in 1988. I owned a Shelby Charger, one of those blue Dodge Omni fastback cars with the HUGE silver stripe down the middle of it. So I’m flying down the highway, chatting on my CELL phone (I had one of those big early ones that sat in your car) and look over to my right to see a State Trooper right along side of me. I immediately slow down. Once I hit the speed limit, he gave me the thumbs up and “flew” on down the highway. He either liked my car or was impressed I had a car phone, either way, he let me go… a TOTAL surprise as I was a prime target in that little sport car.
I got one more ticket after that then gave up on sports cars. See my reply to Nate Fakes…
😛
Oh, boy – hide the stash! He doesn’t look like the kind that just “lets you off easy”!
No, he’s not. Most of the State Troopers I had run-ins with were nasty ol’ SOBs that were sarcastic and angry. Probably because I had “long hair” and smelled “funny”. Now, as an “old fart” cops are very polite and lenient with me. I haven’t had a ticket since 1989. After that I have driven station wagons or mini-vans (having 3 kids does that to you). So, my tips to any “youngster” out there is to buy an older wagon or van… cops will ignore you.
🙂
The British police always start with “excuse me sir, is this your car?”, to which in my TR6 days I almost always replied “Unfortunately, yes, officer. I’d love to be able to say it isn’t, but you’ve got me dead to rights”. I never once got a ticket.
As a rule most cops do not have a sense of humor. I did get one guy to crack up and he gave me a warning instead of a ticket. As he walked up to the car, I had my hands on the wheel (I have been told by many of my police friends that they appreciate this as they can SEE what’s in your hands). He said “Did you know you were going 55 in a 45 zone sir?” To which I replied without thinking “Holy shit! Really?” And for some odd reason it cracked him up and he let me off. I was not trying to be funny, I was actually stunned I was going that fast and I guess I sounded sincere! That is THE ONLY time I have ever been let off the hook by a cop once stopped.
🙂
I swear this is a true story. :
Late one weeknight when I was working a contract in a small town outside Portsmouth in the south of England I realised that my TR6’s tyres were so worn the steel belt wires were starting to emerge. I had a set of four low-profile P6 tyres at my mom’s house in Coventry, in the middle of England, so I left work and raced hell-for-leather to Coventry after work.
I grabbed the tires (think: racing car tyres) and strapped one into the passenger seat and piled the other three in a stack on the boot rack (trunk rack). they formed a large black rubber chimney about three and a half feet high and made me quite distinctive on the road (not that the black TR6 with Cobra slot mags and white top was unobtrusive to start with – there were two of them in the country and the Coventry police were after the other one in the worst way). I always ran top-down when I could and wore a red Team Marlborough cap (so the cops would know it was me and not the other guy – long story for another time). Around 11pm I set off for the 2+ hour drive back to Portsmouth.
Around 11:30 I barrelled into Banbury (of “Ride a Cock-Horse to Banbury Cross” fame). There is a large sweeping curve at each end of the town (30 mph limit), right after the hill where you need the horse to get to the cross. As I swept round this curve at about 60 mph I came upon a police officer standing in the middle of the road with his hand outstretched in the manner of the statues of the Argonath and Rauros Falls in PJ’s LOTR.
I stopped for the nice man.
Copper: “Excuse me sir is this your vehicle?”
Me: “Unfortunately, yes, officer. Sadly it is.”
Copper: “Would you mind telling me where you are going so late at night sir?”
Me: “I’m returning to my house in Portsmouth, where I’m currently working, officer.”
Copper” “Would you mind telling me why you were driving so fast sir?”
Me: “Not at all officer. I was driving fast so I would be out of town and off the road as quickly as possible. I have four bald tyres which I intended to replace tomorrow with the ones you see strapped to the car, and was desperate not to get caught driving on them by the forces of law and order, as they clearly constitute a hazard. In this plan I have been all-but 100% unsuccessful”
The policeman did a spit-take, walked around the car with a flashlight and came bemusedly back to the car. “You say you’ll be putting these tyres on the car tomorrow, sir?”
Me: “At about 8:30 am officer, as soon as the tyre place opens.”
Copper: “Very well sir. I’ll allow you to be on your way with a caution, but I’d appreciate it if you could moderate your speed through the town. Goodnight, sir.”
Me: “Goodnight and thank you, officer.”
It gets better. I drove off round the corner and (of course) floored it. As I was sweeping around the second curve, there is the second policeman in exactly the same “stand and deliver” pose as the first one had used to stop me. I throttled down. The policeman suddenly peered intently forward, took stock of the rather distinctive silhouette of the car, then stood to one side and *flagged me past him*
I loved that car and driving it was a divine experience. I was untouchable all the years I owned it.
Let me guess: Lorraine saves the day…? 🙂
You guys LOVE to try and out wit me… I love that! Hmmm, now having Lorraine use her robust figure influence one of our State Troopers? That would be too easy. You’ll have to wait until tomorrow! But, you’re on the right track..
🙂
Uh-oh…..I don’t like the look of that smirk on Smokey’s grill. He looks like a fun-time spoiler. 🙂
That’s a BIG 10-4 there good buddy! 🙂
Cool Hand Luke meets Ferris Bueller, Nice!!!
🙂 I like that comparison! Two great films too..
I got pulled over 2x in 2 days on the same stretch of road. Guess I never learn.
Actually, who’d a thunk a cop would be in the same place? They usually mosey around town. So, if you got popped once, he should have moved on… the lazy bastard!
🙂
Nice choice of song Byron 🙂
Last time I got pulled by a copper was because I hadnt noticed it was police car pulling up alongside me at some changing traffic lights and (thinking it was someone wanting a burn) screamed off leaving him looking at my tail lights
Now THAT would be a conversation to have recorded… Burned off a cop? Wow, you sir, have my respect!
🙂
That’s a really nice scene. You can tell that’s not the kind of cop to screw with.
State Troopers here in Florida are also extremely unforgiving. At least they have been ever since the state, responding to japes about well-rounded officers, officially requested that Dunkin’ Donuts no longer give them anything for free.
And here’s the REAL story of why cops hang out in Donut Shops. It is as simple as answering Mother Nature’s call. An old cop friend of mine once explained to me that cops hang out in donut shops because there’s no where else to take a crap at 2:00am when you’re on patrol. They frown upon doing it in the backseat, so cops look for the nearest donut shop and do their business. The owners, appreciating the extra security, gave them coffee and a donut. Probably so they’d come back to empty out the coffee they were drinking later… Regardless, for a State to actually make a law or ordinance saying cops can’t get free donuts is just plain stupid. Oh, yeah. I forgot, a Bush brother ran Florida. Makes sense now!
🙂
Hello from Russia!
Can I quote a post in your blog with the link to you?
Hello back to you! Yes, go ahead! 🙂